Why you shouldn't forgive people

Hello and Welcome!

Are you holding a grudge against anyone?

This is for you.

I started my career as anaesthesia technician in CMCH, Vellore in 1996.

The very first day of my college was a posting in urology theatre observing kidney transplant!

My job, even as a student, was to assist anaesthesiologists with regional and general anaesthesia during surgeries ranging from eye to heart and neuro surgeries.

I was okay with my job, but I had a longing to do something bigger and better.

There were two things that stopped me from pursuing something different:

1. My family was going through financial challenges. My first year college fee was Rs. 499! I had a younger sister who was aspiring to be a doctor and I knew my parents would need money for her.

2. I was in love with my senior and I didn’t want to leave him :)

Fast forward one year:

1. My sister got her MBBS admission.

2. Things didn’t go well with my senior, in fact things turned out sour and we stopped speaking to each other.

So I turned to the only option I was left with - PRAY TO GOD! Every night, before going to bed, I would pray to God asking for a way out...a way forward.

I religiously prayed every night for a few years but nothing happened!

It was one particular day in August 1999. I was posted in emergency theatre. That one theatre had two adjacent operating rooms – one way too big, one way too small.

A surgery was about to begin in the bigger room when an emergency case of road traffic accident showed up. The orthopaedic surgeons wanted the bigger space and requested the other surgeons to move to the smaller space.

As everyone began shifting to the smaller space, my job as anaesthesia technician was to shift a small tray (which had a laryngoscope and few other things) to the smaller operating room.

BUT...my anaesthetist, let’s call her Dr. N, demanded I move the entire anaesthesia machine to the smaller room.

Here’s a sample picture of the machine:

I had two problems.

1. It was totally unnecessary as there was already a machine, an older model though, in the smaller room.

2. To swap both machines, there was no time (all the surgeons were already staring at us) nor the space (the nurses had already shifted their sterile material which cannot be touched).

As I was pondering what to do, I found Dr. N holding my shoulders and saying, “Vigneswari, I want it done now” and the next moment I was on the floor...yes, Dr. N had pushed me down!

As the nurses and surgeons witnessed all the drama, I silently stood up controlling my tears and embarrassment. I assisted Dr. N start the case and the very next thing I did was apply for a 15-day leave – I wanted to stay as far away from my workplace as possible.

Just as I was about to leave home after that eventful day, a senior of mine (who knew I was looking for another career) called me and asked, “How long are you going to stay here?”

That was it. I burst into tears and told him, “Give me any other option now, I will take it.”

He said, “There is a new field emerging called Medical Transcription. Would you like to check it out?”

The following week I left to Chennai, enrolled myself into a transcription course, went back to CMCH, gave one-day resignation which means I can never ever join them back again. Simply put, I burnt the only bridge I had.

Fast forward few years...I was running my own transcription company with 30+ employees working for me.

Fast forward few more years...I had become a success coach working with entrepreneurs, business owners and industrialists.

BUT...the thought of Dr. N still haunted me. Every time I thought of her, I was angry and embarrassed, and could never forgive her.

Then one day in 2018, almost 20 years after that eventful day, when me and my husband Abraham went to the anaesthesia department in CMCH, Vellore to meet our ex-colleagues...as I opened the main operation theatre door...I saw Dr. N...aged, hair turned white, looking frail.

She immediately recognized my husband, but had no clue who I was!

(By the way, my husband was my senior whom I was in love with and stopped speaking to while in college. That’s a story for another day.)

Now back to Dr. N...as my husband was chatting with her, I finally realized God’s plan!

When I was not willing to move out of my comfort zone and needed that push (literally), God couldn’t do it by Himself, He had to do it through someone, and that someone was Dr. N to me.

I knew in that moment I shouldn’t forgive Dr. N. I SHOULD THANK HER.

Who is pushing you now or has pushed you in the past? Who is your Dr. N?

Don’t forgive that person...thank that person.

Thank you for reading. If you got value, give me a thumbs up.

Many blessings to you.


Vigneswari Abraham

Abundance Frequency "Energy" Coach

Creator of Money Breakthrough In 28 Days


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